This is a question that I get every so often regarding the legality of a Master-slave, or D/s, Contract. For those of you who have never heard of such, the Master-slave Contract (aka Slave Contract, aka D/s Contract, etc) is an actual document created when a Dom and a sub decide to dramatically increase their commitment to each other. It does not automatically indicate monogamy ( q.v. the Arcane Advice lesson, Are You Monogamous Or Polyamorous? ) but it DOES indicate a Sincerely Increased Focus on each other, most often on the road to achieving a 24/7 D/s Relationship, though not exclusive to such – contracts can cover a wide variety of circumstances and durations.
Personally I believe the reality of the Master-slave Contract to be one of pure ambrosia, especially since I will not offer a contract until I know the submissive’s interest and commitment to the D/s Reality is sincere. When I do offer a contract, starting with a short duration so the slave can test the waters of that deepening level, it is always an indication that I think very highly of the slave. The longer the contract, the more I hold the slave in exceptionally high esteem.
A Master-slave Contract is a beautiful reality and a precious document to be respected. It indicates that great things are happening for the Dom and the sub. However, as you are about to read, it is about Passion and NOT about the Law….
QUESTION:
“I’ve heard that you can draw up a written legal contract in a M/s relationship that legally outlines everything that is okay and all the rules of the relationship. Is this true? Is it legally binding in a court of law in any way? If so how?”
Dear “legally binding,”
The short answer (assuming you are writing from North America) is No, No, and It’s Not. To be more detailed, in the USA in particular, since the American Civil War it has been absolutely illegal to own another human being as a slave or property in any real or legally binding sense. There is not a single court in the USA who would see a Master (Mistress)-slave Contract as any form of legal document.
HOWEVER, do not in any way let this discourage you from enjoying the benefits of an M/s Contract! 😀
I would encourage you to rethink an M/s Contract to be a document stating “The Rules Of The Game.” These are Rules that both parties consensually agree to (including the one-sided aspect of Power Flow that may be spelled out, or what have you). In this context as a kind of “Sacred Rule Book” the M/s Contract still serves as a Pact and a Powerful Reminder of the parameters of daily life in the M/s Relationship. In my honest opinion, any form of long-term 24/7 M/s Relationship will benefit greatly from such a Pact. It is Honor based, not legally based. It is Passion-driven, not judicially-driven.
The single most important aspect of an M/s Contract (in my opinion) is that it stands as an agreed-upon testament to a successful NEGOTIATION between the Dom and the sub. Before you commence a M/s Contract, take pleasure and time in negotiating said contract so that it REALLY contains rules and elements of D/s that the slave genuinely intends to uphold and that the Master genuinely cares to enforce. Nothing is more useless than an M/s Contract full of lofty wording that has zero applicability to the REAL LIFE of the Master and the slave, full of great lines the slave is never going to live up to, or majestic rules the Master is not really going to be bothered to enforce.
On the other hand, a contract that is written with Passion, Love, and True Connection between the Dom and sub is MAGIC. It is fine to use a pre-made M/s Contract you find online, but by all means revise it to be about YOU & YOUR PARTNER PERSONALLY. For example, don’t say in the Contract that you are ready for Absolute Service if what you are ready for is light BDSM Fun and Games and a general sense of Obedience. They are not the same thing. Remember – as time progresses you can always have a Second, DEEPER Contract….and a Third….and a Fourth, etc.
Personally, I never offer a new slave-in-training anything more than TWO WEEKS for their First Contract. If that goes well then I may revise passages to reflect a deepening of the D/s and offer the Second Contract for, say, a few months. This gives the slave a chance to adjust, adapt to, and accept a Deeper, more all-encompassing level of D/s and Service now that they have had their “taste” in the first two weeks. By the Third Contract the slave is usually ready for MUCH Deeper Service and Full Slavehood. But then again I won’t even offer a Second or Third Contract if I am not satisfied that the previous Contract/s went well and know for certain that we both desire that Deeper Level. It can also be the case that the slave is best suited to a moderate level of Contract, and instead of deepening the parameters with each new Contact I simply extend the time and nothing more for the successive Contracts.
Things to consider in a Contract:
1) Hard Limits – what will you NOT be OK with no matter what? Keep in mind that Hard Limits can ONLY be known from a Clear, Non-Emotionally Charged Mind. The more Peaceful you are inside the better you will know your own actual Hard Limits. This is a FACT.
2) Soft Limits – what are you Not ok with NOW, but after trust builds you might be willing to try under the right circumstances?
And YES, Hard Limits and Soft Limits are for BOTH the Dominant and the submissive. For more information on Hard and Soft limits read the Arcane Advice lesson, Black Belts, White Belts, Hard Limits, Soft Limits…
3) Negotiable Areas – minor points that need working out in the wording to make the point work well for both parties. This includes areas where both parties are willing to compromise, especially areas of both a Vanilla and D/s nature. For example adjust Vanilla career responsibilities around D/s duties and responsibilities.
4) Agreeable Areas – things that are already in effect in a “de facto” sense due to the existing roles of Dom and sub. For example, the Dom will be the one who Commands, and the sub will do her best to fulfill those Commands. These are areas that do not require much wording or mention since they are implicit. Nonetheless, sometimes they do make for more fun and flowery aspects to an already well-written Contract. 🙂
I talk about this exact subject AT LENGTH in the first book from The Crow Academy, “Igniting The Fire: The Art of Romantic Submission,” where I dedicate a whole section to understanding the M/s Contract and how to negotiate it, including a sample Contract I have personally used. Available on Amazon and at CrowAcademy.com 🙂